even more funny things

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even more funny things

Post by Gonzales on Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:35 am

* 101. Sing in the bathroom stall.
* 100. Throw your pants out of the bathroom stall just as an employee walks in.
* 99. Pull your pants up as high as possible, tuck in your shirt and do the "Confidence Walk".
* 98. Pretend to be "Llama Girl"
* 97. Go trick-or-treating the day after Halloween.
* 96. Walk into a restaurant with a gorilla costume on.
* 95. Throw foaming soap at people.
* 94. Use as many paper towels as possible, including using them to brush your hair.
* 93. Do the Ashlee Simpson "Texas Jig"
* 92. Lick your arm in public and see peoples reactions.
* 91. Identify fonts used on billboard ads.
* 90. Tie a big car toy to the back of your bike and pull it down a hill.
* 89. When your neighbor yells at you for being too loud, grab a megaphone and yell louder.
* 88. In the middle of a rain storm, take a bar of soap and take a shower under the gutter.
* 87. Run down the street singing "I'm singing in the rain!" during a hurricane.
* 86. Try to live in your tree.
* 85. Have a crabapple fight.
* 84. Slide down the super market isles in your socks.
* 83. Spin around the floor "break dancing" in the super market.
* 82. Put a lawn chair in your tree and do your homework in it.
* 81. Push the "Button." You hold out your hand, and then poke it, and who ever you are doing it to has to fall no matter what.
* 80. Insist on trying to read every single piece of brail you find in your school.
* 79. Prank call "My Lemon" and when they ask you what your problem is, say, "My problem is, my lemon is submitting radioactive waves through my apples and oranges!"
* 78. Put a dirty sock in someone's mailbox.
* 77. Prank call a Chinese food restaurant using the Napoleon Dynamite sound board, and insist that they, "Bring you your chap stick."
* 76. Blow spit bubbles.
* 75. Try to learn a hand game that consists of a lot of clapping in a restaurant.
* 74. Fling scrunchies at the cheerleaders of a Philadelphia Soul game.
* 73. In the middle of a restaurant stare wide-eyed out the window and say hauntingly, "The aliens, they're coming!" while pointing at nothing.
* 72. Tell people that are singing at a karaoke bar that they suck.
* 71. Give the pumpkin men at a haunted corn maze hugs.
* 70. Punch Dracula on a haunted hayride.
* 69. Puke on Michael Myers, the scary one.
* 68. Walk into a scary clown because the strobe lights made you dizzy
* 67. Mimic one of the scarers at Terror Behind the Walls
* 66. Almost ruin the entire set of Terror Behind the Walls by backing into the wall.
* 65. Pretend to be the "Stupid Heroes". Use your imagination.
* 64. Trip during the shuttle run and rip your pants.
* 63. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet.
* 62. Hug a sign at Six Flags, great Adventure.
* 61. Chase a bike down the road because it was "SHINY!!"
* 60. Try to hug a car because it was "SHINY!!"
* 59. Have a picnic on the roof.
* 58. Try every sampler at Bath & Body Works.
* 57. Walk by the food samplers multiple times at restaurants just to fill yourself up.
* 56. Walk to Wawa in the biggest sweatpants you can find.
* 55. Run into your teacher at a horseback riding lesson.
* 54. Walk to Wawa in "moon shoes."
* 53. Try to freestyle rap or just sing random songs in general.
* 52. Skip down the hallways in school.
* 51. Accidentally throw your cell phone away when you're trying to throw away your trash.
* 50. Accidentally throw away $80 worth of video games.
* 49. Roll around in the dirt then go to a fancy restaurant and stare through the window at people that are eating.
* 48. Put your friend on a leash in the middle of a mall and get him to jump onto giant bird cages while screaming like a monkey.
* 47. Pretend to be deaf.
* 46. Loosen someone's bike wheels.
* 45. Ride full speed on a bike at a snow bank and flip over it.
* 44. Drive your car over some kids bike ramp and break it.
* 43. Walk down the street dancing like a "little orange alien."
* 42. Use your parents car as a slide.
* 41. Go to a dollar store and ask if they accept money.
* 40. Run away from random people as if they were following you.
* 39. Knock your friend over in front of the Mexican gardeners and say "Hi!" and then walk away as if nothing happened.
* 38. Smell a calculator and then say, "No, my butt doesn't smell."
* 37. Recite the entire X-men movie flawlessly.
* 36. Brush your arm hair.
* 35. Square dance.
* 34. Time your bird's droppings then let your friend hold it so they will get pooed on.
* 33. Announce to the world, "I have flub! Yes I do! I have flub! How bout you??"
* 32. Play "Sweet & Sour" with old, or just plain grouchy people while in a car.
* 31. Make faces at people through the windows of a car on a highway.
* 30. Get 3 people together (including you) and assign each of you a part in "Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" and act like monkeys doing the symbols through the back of a car windshield.
* 29. Sing your locker combination out loud.
* 28. Count your steps all the way from Super G to home.
* 27. Let out three long shrieks and then fart.
* 26. Say "Yes!" then bring in your arm and fart exactly when you're finished.
* 25. Push a door that says "Pull" in big bright red letters.
* 24. Run around in circles in a revolving door.
* 23. Run up the down escalator.
* 22. Push all the buttons on an elevator right before getting off.
* 21. Point out people's grammar mistakes.
* 20. Wear outfits that completely clash.
* 19. Debate on what the right way is to say "water."
* 18. Bring a flash light to a movie theater, and shine it in the screen.
* 17. Walk down the street with stockings on your head, and pull them so your nose is lifted up.
* 16. Do a blow fish while on the high way.
* 15. Take your cat on a walk .. er, drag, actually.
* 14. Talk about Charmed for an hour straight.
* 13. Cry at a concert just to get an autograph. (Keep in mind that I was in third grade.)
* 12. Forget your own age.
* 11. Sleep in a big box on a fold out bed.
* 10. Sleep in a bear costume, on the middle of a cafeteria table.
* 11. Eat cat food.
* 10. Put stockings on your head, and walk into Old Navy, while hitting your friend with a belt.
* 09. Fart on a hard, smooth, bench in the middle of church.
* 08. Burp really loud, and walk away as if nothing happened, while everyone stares at you.
* 07. Talk about how old the old people are while they are behind you.
* 06. Gaze at how when people talk, their nostrils flare.
* 05. Talk about how when you're older, you're going to drive slow on purpose, when old people are sitting right next to you.
* 04. Argue loudly about who slapped who's butt.
* 03. On the first day of school, write in big capital letters on the chalk board, "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!"
* 02. Leave a pig's leg, with a fork stuck in it, on the cafeteria table.
* 01. Do any of the things on this list in public.


even more

15 Fun Things to do in Public Areas
------------------------------------------

(I actually did all of these)

1. Go up to random people and ask "How are you doing?" See what kind of conversation you can start.
(I met lots of new people this way)

2. Ask someone what another person's name is nearby. Go up to that person and say "Hey, *person's name*. How are you? You forgot my name, again, didn't you!?" (People normally look at me very confused with this one.)

3. Fall down in front of strangers, and see if they try to help. (If they don't help, I yell out, "FINE! DON'T HELP ME THEN!")

4. Bump into someone and pretend it causes you to fall down. See if they apologize. (This is hard to do, because they normally try to avoid me when I try to bump them.)

5. Walk behind someone until he/she turns around. Then say, "What?" (You should look very confused, so it makes them be confused also.)

6. Run around and jump on things and make noises pretending to be a monkey.
(It works with any animal.)

7. Put water in your mouth, and pretend you are barfing when someone walks by. (It's really funny when you chew up some Snickers for this.)

8. Get an "Obsession, for men" cologne sample spray, and go up to people asking, "Do you have an obsession for men? I was just wondering because I have an obsession for me. It's in my pants. Do you want me to spray you with it?" When they look at you funny, take out the cologne and say "What? It's just my obsession for men cologne. What were you thinking of?" (It doesn't work on the people that have the cologne.)

9. Walk behind someone and have an arguement with yourself. (It's even better if you talk in two different voices.)

10. Have a bottle of water and go up to people saying, "Thirsty?" (I got a total of 5 people to drink from my bottle.)

11. Have a newspaper or a book (or something like that) and hold it out to someone and ask, "Thirsty?" (Confusion is funny.)

12. Put a chunk of something sticky on your hand, and go up to people saying, "Hey, how're you doing?" and try to shake their hand. (Some people actually don't notice huge sticky brown things sticking to your hand.)

13. Jump kick a wall and look at someone and say, "Please don't do that." (It works with trees too.)

14. Go up to someone and say in a very low voice, "Death by catapult." (There is also, death by spatula, death by rug burn, death by malapropism, or any other weird random way of death.)

15. Get people to join you in your strange adventures. (Twice the people = twice the fun.)

Be careful about the people you do these things to. Have fun. :-D

and some more

1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly.

2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you.

3. While looking at your book, turn so you're facing the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"

4. Put down your book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, and either 1) say, "Ooo, nice book," or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act like you're reading it.

5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You're one of THEM!"

6. Put down your book, and look at him/her. When they says something like, "What?" cut them off by saying, "Are you accusing me of something?"

7. Read your book. Upside down.

8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the same way.

9. Flip the page every two or so seconds.

10. Pick up your book, put it down, and say, "Wow. That was a good book."

11. Read silently, and then as if speaking to the character in your book, say, "No, Jim! It's a trap! Don't do it!" Then turn to the person and reply solemnly, "He did it," when he/she looks at you.

12. Turn to the person and ask, "Have you ever experienced déjà vu and amnesia at the same time?"

13. Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she looks at you funny, say, "Ohh, I'm sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to be quiet."

14. Sit down, and then say to the person next to you, "Hi! My name's (...) and I'm really glad to meet you."

15. Ask him/her if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum.

16. Ask him/her what species he/she is.

17. Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet.

18. Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say, "Got enough air in their?" or, "Settle down in there. I'm trying to read!"

19. Ask them what their name is, and then when they start to reply, cut them off by saying, "No, it isn't!"

20. Break the silence by making a bodily function noise, then say, "Wow! That was a good one!"

21. Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange sound, or a beep.

22. Announce the page number each time you turn a page.

23. Constantly shift in your seat, and if the person next to you asks what is wrong, reply by saying, "I'm constipated. Hehe."

24. Spell every single word as you read it.

25. Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading.

26. Act like you're picking your nose - and eating it.

27. Snort loudly, and gargle with your spit.

28. Sneeze a lot.

29. Hold your book right next to your eyes.

30. Every few minutes, get up out of your chair, walk around the table, and sit back down.

31. Stand up, and continue reading.

32. Make a strange sound every few minutes, then act like you didn't do it.

33. Bring a bag of cat food, and start snacking on it.

34. Bring a box of crunchy cereal, a bowl, and a spoon, then dig in messily, and crunch on it.

35. Ask them, "Got milk?"

36. Read out loud attempting to pronounce easy words. Butcher them badly. But be able to pronounce hard words.

37. Fall out of your seat, then say, "I meant to do that." Then do it again. And again.

38. Bring a laptop, and turn up the sound, and play a very noisy game.

39. Wear too many sweaters, and complain how hot it is.

40. Bring one of those fans with a squirt bottle attached, and make it look like you're attempting to squirt yourself, but hit them instead.

41. Bring a bottle of squirtable mouth freshener, and miss every time you try to spray it into your mouth.

42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume.

43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book.

44. Put down your book, then say, "Hey, ya wanna trade?"

45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the librarian to come. When they find it in your bag, yell, "IT WAS PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY! ALIENS BEAMED IT INTO MY BAG! IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET THEM DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME!"

46. Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, "I know what you did last summer."

47. Bring a piece of bread, and drop pieces of it down the little hole in the center of the table meant for cords.

48. While reading your book, start humming a single note until you're out of breath, then collapse on the floor. Then get back up, and continue reading like nothing happened.

49. Start singing "This is the song that never ends. . ."

50. While placing small pieces of bread in a line, count one, two, three. . ., and lose count every ten or so.

51. Bring a recording of a popular song. Play it on headphones quietly, but sing along very badly. Then proudly say to the person next to you, "I took singing lessons!"

52. Turn to the person sitting next to you and say to them, "Hey! How ya doin'? That's great, me too."

53. Instead of a laptop, bring your entire computer!

54. While working at a laptop, suddenly stand up, and announce to every one, "I have mail!"

55. Start staring at the person, and when you have their attention, announce, "I measure sock by thickness!"

56. Turn to the person next to you, and ask them to pronounce their name backwards. When they ask you why, tell them that you are looking for hidden messages.

57. State proudly that you have been to the 'other' side. Give no explanation.

58. Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the ground. Then get back up like nothing happened.

59. Collapse on the floor. Then get up like nothing happened. When the person next to asked what is wrong, look at him/her with an inquiring look on your face, and say, "What do you mean?"

60. Say, "It always starts so weird, and they do it so weird." When they ask, "What?" say, "Ohh, sorry. I'm back now."

61. Start telling a VERY strange story, then half way through say, "Never mind."

62. Turn to them and while pointing your fingers at them as if you were electrocuting them, say, "BUZZ! BUZZ!. . ."

63. Start arguing with yourself. When they ask you who you are talking to, say, "You're just jealous 'cause the voices are talking to ME!"

64. Say, "Who's Freddie?" Then act like you didn't say anything.

65. Say, "Argh! My central nervous system is shot! Quick! Give me blue china!"

66. Introduce yourself by saying, "Hi! I'd like a hamburger, and a green South America please." When they ask what your problem is, say, "Ohh, you're not my fairy godmother? I'm sorry, he must have flown into the bookcases. Bye!" and run off.

67. Continuously rub a book while chanting, "Come out, come out. I know you're in there!" When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm calling the book genie out!"

68. Run up to them with a book, thrust it under their nose and ask, "Will you sign my autograph?" Make sure you say MY.

69. Get up onto the table, and start acting like a duck. When they ask what you're doing, say happily, "I'm roosting!"

70. Bring a bottle of glue and sniff it while counting down from a very high number. When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm counting my brain cells!"

71. Stick a 'kick me' sing on your back, and accuse them of putting it there.

72. Repeat everything they say to you.

73. Ask them, "Have you ever had an orange juice bath?" When they look at you strangely, say, "What?"

74. Look up suddenly and yell, "Ohh no!" When they ask you what happened, say, "Nothing." Then do it again.

75. Stare accusingly at the other person, and when they look at you, say, "Where were you on the night of February 32, 1989?!"

76. Look at one page number, then a different one. They say in astonishment, "Wow! The page numbers are in order! Cool! They guy who came up with that musta been a genius!"

77. Glance over your shoulder every few seconds.

78. Maintain a look of horror constantly, but act normal otherwise.

79. Say to him/her, "You have the right to remain silent!"

80. Pat your stomach and say, "Whoa. Human extremities do not settle well."

81. Get a child's book like "Green Eggs and Ham" and complain that there is no glossary.

82. Find a thesaurus and say in complete astonishment, "Wow! Did you know that 'affirmative' and 'yes' mean the same thing?"

83. Say, "Oomph!" like you were just shot, and while smushing a ketchup pack on your chest, fall on the floor. Then get back up like nothing happened. After that, look at your stomach, and say, "What? How'd this stain get here?" while motioning to the ketchup.
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Gonzales

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